Monday, June 19, 2017

How do you hit rock bottom
When there isn't a ceiling
To strike and fall
Flying to close to the sun
Because my structure was open
Never finished

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

I'd give it all
To burst through your door
And end the call
And cut her off
I would give everything
In the dead of night
To crawl into your bed
And call you mine
And I'm lost without your presence
I'm searching for your voice
In every empty substitute I put into your place
There is no one else but you
I'm half myself
I'm cut in two.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

I love you
Through the void
And social structure
I will feel you
In every lonely night
Alive and well
In the back of my mind
And I will find you on the other side
A different reality
Another life
I'll find you there
Outside of time

Friday, June 9, 2017

Chaos
Trauma
Rape
Dysfunction
Abuse
Addiction
Illness
Poverty
Oh yes
But there will never come a day
That I don't find a way to be okay.
Temptestuous 
I cried 
Standing tall in my rebellion 
I am mighty and resilient 
Conquering the stillness 
Alone for hours 
Throughout my childhood 
Imaginative 
To cope with silence 
On my knees 
Arms wide open 
Splayed to welcome the world 
And it's experiences 
Love and lust my drug of choice 
High on infatuation 
Incapable of function 
ill equipped for attachment 
Angry at my authors 
The bodies that cleaved
To foster my existence 
Enraged 
And filled with sadness 
And the whispers started early 
Miseducating my past
To cripple my adulthood 
Addicted to the chaos
The mania consumes me 
I long for the end 
Of the life I am living 

Monday, June 5, 2017

I've been praying
To an unknown God
Ten plus years
Repeating my parents prayers
Faking it
Hoping to make it one day
I've been wondering
And staring at the heavens
Asking Him if He is
The author of love stories
And homecomings
They told me
He came for sinners
But I've been a steady candidate
More than I haven't
And I can't approach the gates of heaven
With the burdens that I'm clutching
But my hands are stiff and bloody
And I've never lived without them
The baggage that I'm tied too
Like an anchor in my madness
Like I'm drowning in the sadness
They said he whispers in the stillness
But oh the silence scares me
I pray tentatively
And I whisper my repentance
To the unknown God that made me
Will you save me from the darkness
And the waves that I am riding

Maybe time is an illusion
Just a figment
Of our collective imagination
An abstract manifestation
Of human perception
And you and I
Are infinitely contained
In a set of perfect moments
Our love could be solidified
Preserved in the best way
Sitting in the concept of time
Just embalmed and kept
Maybe somewhere
We're still
You and I